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I’m not sorry I’m not sorry

The other night my entire family went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant.  We had a pretty good waitress but she kept doing one thing that annoyed me.

Me: Can I please get a refill?

Waitress:  Diet Coke?

Me:  No, regular, please.

Waitress:  I’m sorry.

Me:  You’re fine.

Waitress:  Would you like some boxes?

My mom: Yes, please.

Waitress:  Okay.  Two?

My mom:  No, I think we can fit it into one.

Waitress:  Sorry.

Me:  You’re fine

She kept saying “sorry” for things you shouldn’t be sorry for.  I wanted to take her aside as we left and say, “You’re doing a great job.  Please don’t apologize for these trivial things.  Apologize if you spill a drink.  Apologize if the food takes forever.  Apologize if the food is lousy but please don’t apologize because you don’t remember my beverage choice.”

But I didn’t say anything out of fear she’d say “sorry” for being sorry.  The word “sorry” is so overused, especially by women.  I notice that my daughter says “sorry” a lot.  Right now, it is a little kid saying a word, but I don’t want it to continue.  I’ve been explaining to her that we say sorry if we hurt somebody or we are mean.  Now, she says, “everyone spills the milk sometimes!”

In a world that is becoming oversensitive in some ways, I find people are having to apologize for their opinions.  While we shouldn’t go out of our way to be mean like POTUS, we shouldn’t have to apologize for our feelings and opinions.



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Not a rite of passage

I just want to observe that we live in a great time, if you take away some of the crazy stuff that is going on in the world.  We live in a society that mostly accepts people that don’t want to have kids.

For me, I always knew that I wanted to be a mother.  My plan was: go to college, work for a few years, meet a handsome gentleman who shared my values, get married, and eventually have children.  I basically did that.  My child is my destination.  But that’s not the way it is for everybody.

I have a friend who does not want to have kids.  She is very career-oriented and has zero patience.  I applaud her for being self-aware enough to realize that children are not her forte.  Back in our parents’ generation, having kids was a “rite of passage.”  You got married, and then you had a baby shortly thereafter.  Women were looked at like something was wrong with them if they didn’t have kids, and some of them probably gave in to that pressure.

Having children is a lifetime investment.  You can’t just turn them off.  I am glad that people can treat this decision with the seriousness it deserves and make whatever choice works best for them!

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Why Duke is being too hard on Grayson Allen

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I Have a Right to Be Upset

I have bled orange and green for the last thirteen years, since I saw Ken Dorsey rally his teammates vs. Boston College back in 2001.  This is the moment when I came out of the Trojan horse and became a Miami Hurricane.  I was a student there, a graduate student, and worked for the football program for nine years.  That is why this is so painful to write.

Since the “Robbery in the Desert” back in 2002, I have watched the slow demise of the football program I love.  There have been rotating coaches and a lack of commitment to the football program that put the University on the map.  Last night’s loss to a crummy Virginia team is the last straw for me.  I just have to stop caring.

The University, in an effort to “clean up” its image has essentially divorced itself from its history.  You can hope for a better future without denying the past.  Get over playing the PR game.  Embrace the us vs. the world mentality that made The U so successful in the past.  It is sickening that everybody is copying Miami’s brand of football, but we are acting like a neutered BIG-10 program.  What you have is an administration that doesn’t understand what made Miami special.  I value my degree, but I didn’t apply to The U to watch us in nail-biters vs. Duke and celebrate that win like it’s a huge achievement (#smoked – are you kidding me?).  Everything is going to be okay though because we have new uniforms (they’re stupid looking) and use hashtags for everything (#renewed – ugh!).  At least we’re winning in PR!

I have grown tired of watching the same 6-6, 7-6 (9-4 in 2013 vs. historically weak schedule including a loss to Duke – stop calling it “improvement”) effort for the past seven seasons.  The losses of recent memory weren’t just bad; they were humiliating.  Why can Duke, UCLA, and Arizona State seem to do more with so much less talent?  Only so much of this can be chalked up to the recent NCAA investigation.   Heck, USC lost thirty scholarships, and you don’t hear them whining about their sanctions.  The talent is there at Miami, maybe not to win a national title right now but at least to BEAT A LOWLY VIRGINIA TEAM!  It’s sad that we are measuring improvement as “almost beating Florida State.”

Out of respect for my past position, I will never call anyone out by name, but as an alum, I do have a right to be upset.  As an alum, my commitment to the University will outlast any coach, AD, or university president.  I don’t even know who to blame, but the lack of improvement is disturbing.

We have a saying down in Miami that “The U Invented Swagger” – I even have a t-shirt claiming the same thing.  True, they invented it, but recently they have relinquished it to the likes of Louisville.

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How Stupid Can You Be?

I hope Florida State does another “Ask Jameis” session:

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June is a month of anniversaries, at least for my people and me. Saturday, Eric and I celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary. Time has certainly flown by! It took a lot of courage for 22 year old Eric to take the plunge. For me, it was the best decision of my life.

Today, my parents celebrate their 40th anniversary. It was great to be able to have a small celebration with them while I was in Chicago last week. Congratulations on forty great years and many more to come!

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June 30, 2014 · 2:11 pm

Put On For My City

This week marked the tenth anniversary of the Detroit Pistons’ last NBA Championship (and unfortunately, probably a few years before they even contend for another).  What a great championship series it was – they beat the flashy Los Angeles Lakers at the height of the Kobe/Shaq Era with hard work and defense.  There were no celebrities – this was the ultimate team with a starting five of Rasheed Wallace, Ben Wallace, Chauncey Billups, Tayshaun Prince, and Rip Hamilton.  They were the perfect example of Detroit tough.

While I haven’t lived in the Motor City in over twelve years, I still consider it home and would actually love to move back.  Nothing pisses me off more than when somebody asks me where I’m from, I say “Detroit,” and they proceed to make a snide comment about it.  First of all, it’s damn rude.  I would never degrade someone’s hometown to them, no matter my personal experience there.  Second, I think we are all aware of Detroit’s crime problems.  A lot of other big, “nicer” cities have this problem, too (hi, Chicago).  The 2008 economic crisis was particularly cruel to Detroit.  Don’t make fun of a hardworking city and people trying to get back on their feet.  Just don’t.  FYI…it is improving slowly but surely.

Detroit gave you the automobile.  For those of you who were fortunate enough to group up in the middle or upper-middle class, you can thank Detroit for a big part of that, too.  We have some of the best restaurants in the country.  And finally, we have some of the nicest suburbs in the country (Oakland Hills, anyone?).  I am going to sound like the Birmingham brat I am, but to make my point, Oakland County was the second wealthiest county in the nation behind the Hamptons back when I was in high school.  Sure, it has fallen off just a tad with the economic downturn (still top ten), but they are still consistently nice.  Detroit suburbs could buy and sell almost anywhere else in the country.

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